The Greatest Audience Member in the History of Comedy

From a recent show at the great Goonies Comedy Club.

I had a show this week in small city in New York state. It was for a new booking agent that a friend of mine had hooked me up with. It made some sense routing wise, so I was happy to take the gig.

When I get to the hotel, I’m told by the front desk that the comics haven’t stayed there for a few weeks. I call the contact and find out that we had moved. Looking back on my itinearies I now realize I didn’t look at the latest one. My bad. What wasn’t my bad is that I find out when I get to the hotel I’m staying at that the feature act and I will be sharing a room. I am not happy about this. I wasn’t told ahead of time this would be the case, as I told the booking agent later I wouldn’t have taken the gig if I knew this was the case. Fortunately the other comic was a friend of mine, which made my typical late-night masturbation session less awkward than it could have been.

OK, so I show up in a bad mood, but decide not to address the one room deal with the owner as I can see from how small the place is, he is already losing money on the show. I had got there at 7, which was 30 minutes before showtime. This was the first week they hadn’t done the show at 8pm, so I don’t think some of their customers were aware. I told the owner I’m a team-player so we can wait until 8.  At 8:15, though, I told him it wasn’t fair to the people who showed up on-time.

Before I go any farther, I should add that I had caught a bad cold from my son and I had a terrible sore throat. Watch out crowd, Show-biz is about to happen!

So my friend gets up and does great.  They are small but mighty. I notice one table is driving the laughs. I get up and catch the wave. I am destroying. It is not a great set-up, the lighting is bad, I’m on a dance floor, but I’m kicking ass. I think I would have done well, no matter what, but what made it so great I soon realized was one audience member. This guy had a great laugh and he had such great energy he fed that to his friends, who were also good laffers.

I want to find out more about this guy and when he speaks I realize he has a strong accent. He sounds like Tracy Morgan if he was Hispanic. I start doing an impression of him riffing with other audience members and the roof is about to explode. I couldn’t have went into this show feeling worse about this show but it all turned out great. Well almost.

I asked a question of one young woman sitting upfront and she apologized saying very nonchalantly Sorry, I didn’t hear you the past few minutes, I kind of dozed off. Welcome to my world. Best show ever with 20 people and one of them has to slam me hard. Truthfully, it really made me laugh, as I embrace things like that.

So after the show this audience wanted to buy all my merchandise. It was like a fairy tale. Sure it would have been better if 2000 people had been there having the same reaction, but it was still pretty great.

After the show my friend and go back to our room. We drink a couple beers out of hotel fridge that he been nice enough to share with me and then we take the sleep of comedic victors. Everything is going to work out, until I wake up 3 hours later with my nose completely stuffed. I blow it, lay down, and then realize that my roommate for the night snores like Yogi Bear in the middle of a Picnic basket heist. 20 minutes of tossing and turning while he roars and then I go down to the lobby and just hang out for a couple of hours looking at my iPad. He was getting up early to drive back to get to his day job, so I knew if I could wait it out until 6am, I could live my typical solitary hotel room life. I see it as a big perk to my job, especially since I have 3 young children at home.

Here I am the following night after a show in my room, getting a chance to collect my thoughts. Welcome to my life.

2 thoughts on “The Greatest Audience Member in the History of Comedy

  1. Your stories of show business are of great inspiration to me as I continue on into my 26th year. We all have those nights it seems.
    I wish you the best my friend. A great dancer helps my nights keep going or get going.

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