Fear the Bedspread

So I’ve seen the local news stories they break-out during sweep weeks using a black light to illuminate the bedspreads at your favorite hotel.  I never sit on them, as I pull the spread off my bed right when I get there.  Here is a quick story about a bedspread that didn’t need a blacklight.  After doing my previous blog about the great places I stay, I thought it was time to do a piece on the opposite end.

When I started in comedy, I preferred staying in a comedy condo* than a hotel.  I was tight on money and these condos had a kitchen that I could eat out of all week.  Not that I’m flush now, but I always prefer a hotel at this point, as the rooms are nicer, plus you don’t know who stayed in your bed the night before, unlike a comedy condo where you might know the disgusting animal that headlined the club the week before. A while back I was performing at a great comedy club where the only negative was I was staying in a condo.  Below is a photo I took of the sheet after I pulled back the bedspread.  GASP and Jump back startled!  This thing didn’t just get to look that way overnight, as comedians week after week must have put up with this scary sheet.  I took a photo of it and showed it to the manager who told me he was sorry and he would get a new one—next week.  Not great for me, but hopefully I was the last comic who had to deal with this nightmare.  Come on comics, standup for us and don’t let this sheet happen.

*Scott definition of Comedy Condo. Glorified name for a 2 bedroom, dumpy apartment.

I have no idea what creates this crime scene, but my guess is it would include a horny man who has acidic swimmers.
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